Malaysian Parenting Style

Malaysia is a multi-racial and multi-religious country. There are three major ethnic groups which are Malay, Chinese and Indian. Those ethnic group have their own religions such as Islam, Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, and Confucianism/ Taoism/ other traditional Chinese religion in Malaysia. Malaysian families usually practice eastern cultural values.

Malay Parenting Style

In Malay communities, there are two types of parenting styles which are the parents who are lenient in the upbringing of their children and the authoritarian parenting style. Parents who are lenient in the upbringing of their children are usually too busy with the material trinkets of life rather than focusing on the mental and emotional development of their children. This type of parenting style usually sets up children for failure in this life as well as in the hereafter, according news from Islamic Insights.Children will do whatever they want in order to get attention from their parents.

Authoritarian parent is the parents set strict rule on their children with low responsiveness. Muslim parents tend to be using authoritarian style in controlling their children. Muslim parents will use verbal commands, guidance and advice to control their children. Some of the parents will warning or use threats of punishment, moralizing and belittlement when the children refused to obey their parents’ rules. If these measures fail, parents will use both deprivation and corporate punishment, according to Dwairy. Most of the muslim children not only accept their parents’ control, but also feel reinforced by the authoritarian parenting style.

Authoritarian Muslim parents set strict rules for their children. According to research at Islamic Insights, this parenting style is not uncommon among Muslims. Muslim children are discouraged from questioning or seeking the explanations by their parents. Muslim parents enforce excessively strict policies on their children especially when it comes to religious. Children are often expected to perform all religious duties. For example, some of the Muslim children pray five times a day without knowing exactly why they are praying and why they have to fast for a month before raya.

Muslim parents also help their children to develop a conscience through moralization, where the feeling of shame guides an Islamic child to stop bad behavior. For example, there are only a smoker in the family , he will feel shame and stop that behavior.  In particular, girls must observe certain prohibitions that only become stricter as they mature into teenager. They are forced to focus on household duties, such as cooking and cleaning, to prepare for lives as wives and mothers. Girls have limited choices and must bow to the wishes of their parents.

 

Chinese Parenting Style

In traditional Chinese families, parents are usually practice authoritarian parenting style. Chinese parents are involved in and also bring a huge influence on the upbringing of their kids. Due to the Chinese culture, it is seldom to encounter supportive from parents. Those who abide by the typical Chinese culture tend to be further authoritarian to their children. In this style of parenting, children are provided with instructions and demands. In addition to that, they are never allowed to question their parents. For example, parents who set high standards tend to have children who are more successful at school. It is also clear that Chinese parents tend to spend more time pushing their kids to study, practice, and achieve. Parents will force their children to attend additional courses class in their young age.

Tiger mother are one of the common parenting style in Chinese culture. Tiger mother was created by Pro.Amy Chua in her memoir Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. The point of tiger parenting is that parents strongly believe that harsh discipline will encourage their children to strive better. Children of tiger parents will more productive, motivated and responsible than children with easygoing or supportive parents. However, tiger mother may influence their children and they may struggle to function in daily life or in new settings, which many lead children become depression, anxiety and poor social skills because of fear.

One main idea in Chinese culture is the mutual dependence, meaning the whole image of the family will affected by any one of the family member. As the reputation and name of the family play an important role in the society, children have to fulfill parents’ expectation and pressure. Some of the children forced to learn talent skill like piano, dance and etc in their young age. Parents assume that if their child, who does well in arts and academics, as well as sports, will get a good job with high salary sooner or later. This in turn will lead to the enhancement of the family image and parents will feel proud of it. On the other hand, in order to obtain this, it is assumed that the child should undergo a strict procedure of discipline and pressure by coaches, teachers as well as parents.



 

Indian Parenting Style

With Hinduism as the most prominent form of religion in the Indian culture, many Indian families impart the importance of prayer and worship to their children. Children are usually raised up with their grandparents in the same household. Through this way, the child would be able to learn how to respect the elders from what he or she sees around in the house. This is an important factor in determining how the child deals with the people outside the family. Indian parents strongly believe that their child is part of a family and a community and that it is of prime importance that the child realizes that every decision he or she makes and every action he or she takes has consequences for the entire family and community. Since the respect of elders is such a key component to how children are raised, speaking or acting out against adults is punished in a fairly harsh manner.

Traditional Indian families tend to discipline their children in a more aggressive and stern manner. Mild corporal punishment is considered as normal action to parenting in many Indian families. Besides that, Indian parents also emphasis on academics and it leads to the sense of competitiveness in the child. For example compare among children or with relative. Indian parenting not only promoting in respect for others and their values, it also brings up a more successful child. They keep themselves updated about the child’s academic as well as their social life. Parents will know friends of their kid as well as friends' parents. Besides that, parents also will decide everything for their children. For example, the selection of the college, course, city of work and even the spouse hugely depends on their parents’ decisions, if not entirely. Indian parents are often more concerned about what they will have to say to the society rather than their child’s wishes.

 Additionally, the Indian way of parenting is quite conservative. It is rare to see teenagers discussing topics like sex, drinking, and smoking freely with their parents. In fact, a conversation on these topics is often avoided in Indian homes. As a result, children pick up information about these issues from the incorrect sources and end up adopting the wrong path. Parents need to understand that after an age they need to start becoming their child’s friends than being their protectors as they can then help their kid grow better.

In my opinion, it is quite argue that every Malaysian parents will definitely implement the parenting style as stated above. There might have parents practicing with permissive parenting style or authoritative parenting styles as Indian parents or Chinese parents. Parenting behaviors and their effects may vary depending on different culture. It means that the ways in which family members interact with each other are influenced by the culture of the society. Besides that, not all the Indian families tend to discipline their children in a more aggressive and stern manner. According one of my Indian friends said that, her parents are not aggressive and stern manner yet their use permissive parenting style in controlling them. It prove that different cultural of the society will use different way to guide their children. To sum up, most of the Malaysian parents tend to use authoritarian parenting as normative for rearing their children and to promote optimal development.


Sources : http://ppdc1234.blogspot.my/p/malaysian-parenting-style.html
                  http://www.islamicinsights.com/news/community-affairs/lenient-authoritarian-and-authoritative
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